My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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