never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
