All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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