The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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