Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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