Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
