she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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