I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
