And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
