She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
