Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
