she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
