Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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