Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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