Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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