I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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