if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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