she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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