where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize