I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
