we made out on top of his cat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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