yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
