my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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