I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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