Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm having to shit out rocks
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