Where is the hickey?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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