It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
