Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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