he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
