Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize