apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
