I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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