So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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