found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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