i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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