wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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