Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
