I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
