I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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