Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
