Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
