Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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