oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
