I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize