i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
