My liver just broke up with me...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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