Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize