I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
