Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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