i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
