At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
