"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
