naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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