You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
