Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
