i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He did a backflip because drugs
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