im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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