No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
