when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm just crazy horny about you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
