in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
