may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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