I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
