he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
