Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
tell me about the fingering
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
