Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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