Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
