C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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