dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
