she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
