My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
