so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
