Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm sobbing to NWA
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
