yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
