I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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