Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
