Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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