Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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