My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
