I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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